The rise of Young African entrepreneurs

Most of the young people I have met lately, are speaking of starting their own business or organization straight from college. I'm thrilled at the progress our continent is making in encouraging entrepreneurship in all its forms. For the past few years youth unemployment has grown drastically and it has been really hard to survive in these trying times. Most young people have resorted into opening their own charities and businesses.

 I'm a big supporter of new business ideas in action and I applaud those who are taking a step towards creating their own employment and for others. It's a new generation of ideas and startups. Most of our parents are in shock at the progress we have made. In most ways they are proud of this boom of new businesses. But wait a minute, are we missing something here? As much as there are a lot of new babies, how many are really strong enough to survive beyond the five year mark?

Yes financial resources are essential for sustainability but the greatest strength of every organization lies in the strength and quality of its workforce. Everyone seems to have this desire to have their own business, something that has their name on the front door. That is a great dream to have. However, not many people have the kind of financial muscle required to realize that dream. Unfortunately, few young people actually consider creating a business partnership and adding value to the long term significance of their company.

For instance, there are more than 15 young upcoming music producers in a township in Blantyre. Each one has enough money to record in their bedroom, if three people combined resources they would open a studio at the trading center and if seven combined resources, we would find them in their own studio in Limbe (a business center in Malawi) with more customers. I tell you what; most young people hate the idea of having someone to be accountable to. See, most of our young people have abandoned the basics of learning from the gurus in the business.

There are a few ways of achieving that, to be precise getting you a mentor, reading and getting a job. Yes I said it, get a job!! Look it doesn't have to be full time. You can volunteer or work as an intern. Most companies will be happy to take you on board in that capacity. I know you hate working for someone but guess what it's one of the most classic and best ways to learn. Don't be ashamed to have a boss, someone you are accountable to, it is key to your big dream. Don't be too greedy to avoid working with others with a similar dream. If you don't have enough money to start, try getting a business partner, choose wisely and make it legally bound. The combination of your unique capabilities and your partner's is good for business. Even married couples agree to this.

Startups are risky in themselves. Most of us are still scared to start. However, if you ever want to make it worthwhile, make it a point to learn from the best in the business. Life is a process. If you jump a step, you might have to pay dearly for it or even worse still go back to it later. Don't rush, take one step at a time and learn as much as you can.

Please write your experiences, we need to create reading material for the next generation of African entrepreneurs.
Young African entrepreneurs are the future of African economy, if we work on sustainability.
#writeyourjourney

Self love Africa

Over the past year I cut my long relaxed hair and embarked on a journey to embrace my natural hair, from an Afro to locks.  It has been a journey of self-discovery and for the most part, the discovery of stereotypes connected with "looking very African" as it is referred to nowadays. They ranged from looking artistic, weed smoking, unprofessional and many more. One classic comment I have heard over and over again is how I will attract a white man. How my African look will dramatically turn me into an attractive gem for white men in particular. Nothing wrong with interracial relationships but still it baffles me really, I look more African and somehow I’m more attractive to a white man than a black man? Hmm. Being called beautiful is a big thing for most women. It feels nice to be called beautiful. Growing up I remember, hearing sentiments like " so and so has a beautiful sister, so fare in complexion. Mostly when boys talked about dark skinned girls they would say she is a "black beauty". If at all they had to qualify it as if beauty only meant being light in complexion. These are just typical examples of how our minds are still far from emancipation. For a long time black women have been fed lies about how a lighter complexion and long straight hair will make you look more beautiful and professional. We have spent so much money buying skin bleaching products that burn our skin and expensive hair just to fit in. I know some women just love that kind of look and that's still okay but don't do it on the basis of hating your natural self just because someone told you it wasn't good enough. Our black men also have been conditioned to like our evolved version than our dark skin and kinky hair. We have somehow been brought up to believe that everything white is beautiful and everything black is primitive. We called everything nice and modern "chachizungu".  We marveled at how everything white was better and lost our own identity and heritage as a people. For so long, we have studied the history of other continents and failed to embrace our own. Our libraries are filled with books written about us by outsiders. Our own African artists and writers have failed to make it on the continent because somehow their work has been dimmed too African to be attractive to fellow Africans. Doesn't make sense, does it? I know but it’s true. This week we commemorated the Africa day on May 25th which we don't take seriously or worst still have no idea it exists. Our early African leaders who we hold in high regard had envisioned a united Africa but we love and celebrate the unity of others but fail to foster our own.  Our presidents are seldom held accountable by African treaties. When are we going to champion solutions for Africa by Africans? We are not saying we hate other races we just want to love and appreciate ourselves as much as we have worshiped others for far too long. Through the years the white race has been regarded as the pure race and the women being treated as second class earth citizens.  We cannot arrive towards our potential as a people if we keep addressing one set of oppression and leaving another. If you believe in the dignity of the human race it must be a wholesome view, for all in some form or another create in us a fear to respect others and afford their rights and dignity. Sadly it also causes us to hate who we are, something we did not choose at all. Racism, sexism  are the main reason for our lack of progress, just because someone somewhere used some well thought calculated ideologies to paralyze our progress. We follow in the footsteps of the oppressed yet we worship the very ideologies that shackled us for centuries. My goal this year is to fully embrace myself as a black African women, I have been what I'm not, now let me find myself. I'm starting a campaign to encourage our younger generation to read our history called Self-love Africa. Please share this article on social media and #SelfloveAfrica. Remember to read black history and don't hesitate to share any books or materials you have with fellow Africans using the hashtag. Join the movement!!! 

Love and Religion

Yesterday I met my friend with her father, he had come to visit and went to church with her. It melted my heart so much so that I started to get emotional simply because the father belongs to another church but said he came in support of his daughter. In that instance, this loving father restored my hope in humanity. Looking over my own life and the things I have gone through because of religion. How families have been broken all in the name of " I don't approve of the church you go to nowadays" is very heartbreaking. People are so obsessed with following what their religion says as opposed to doing what's right. I believe love should be our anthem not doctrine. Love is inbuilt, we all have it within us and is the only way to whichever heaven you believe in. I believe everyone should be left to worship what they are convinced keeps them sane. The whole purpose of having something to believe in is to feel a sense of belonging and the comfort that comes with transferring  responsibility to another higher power than oneself(whichever name he bears in your context). Since we are all different, we can't find these things in one place. Consequently some will choose  to divert from the common hence become believers of "nothing". But that should not worry you. For we both know that it all comes down to love for one another. I personally no longer  care what religion the people in my life belong to, I love them and  will forever include them in the things that matter to me regardless of how they are dressed or which "holy book" they are carrying. For me its been a journey of unlearning and going back to the basics. Love is and will always be my religion.

About baby dumping and deep routed hypocrisy

I imagine this 15 year old girl, confused and scared. Battling with intense emotions of anger, shame,regret and helplessness. As tears run down her soft and tender cheeks, she unwrapped her new born child from her old  piece of chitenge,pauses for a few seconds just to look at her baby for the last time. Then throws it inside the pit latrine. As she steps out of the improvised grave of her new born child, she looks around left and right to see if anybody saw her. She heads home running without looking back. She cries all night feeling terrible and horrified. She instantly realises that this day will haunt her for the rest of her life. As she lies on her bed that night, sleepless. She remembers all the events that led to her pregnancy. It doesn't matter the circumstances leading to her pregnancy but the reality remains that she was left with no other choice at the end of the day. In an ideal situation no woman would ever wish death for their child. This also applies to abortion, we spend so much time protecting and arguing about the fetus. When life begins and whether it's right to terminate. But the truth remains nobody critically wants to address the circumstances that led to that pregnancy nor the woman's psychological battle that led to her choice. Seemingly the only wise choice in her mind at that time. All these theories about what wrong women do to their offspring is as a result of the normalisation of women being unable to have an intire say on what they want to do with their bodies before then. I believe a woman owns her body and she should decide whether or not she wants to have sex at that given time and with whoever she pleases. Only her should decide whether or not she wants to have children and when. A woman should be left to decide whether or not she wants to get married and when. Most women never get the chance to have comprehensive information on their sexual health and let alone decide on the kind of services they want to access from the clinic including family planning methods. Imagine a world, where all sex was consented, where all girls would be protected from rape, incest and all forms of sexual abuse and access to sexual health and services was treated as a basic right for everyone then we would have less abortions and baby dumping. If you are pro life and are doing nothing to protect the women in your life from rape, incest and have never taken some time to expose them to comprehensive information and services on their sexual health, then you have no moral higher ground to begin blaming them for their choice during pregnancy or after giving birth. No woman should ever be placed in circumstances where its required to choose between her child and herself. I can never begin to imagine how difficult and heartbreaking that is. Let's begin to fight for all pregnancies to be wanted before we begin to support the new born. And finally if you are pro-choice, always remember the psychological trauma involved and find ways to address it. My deepest desire is to see women that are empowered and supported to live out their choices.

Street harassment

One of the acceptable behaviours that frustrates me is street harassment. You can not walk down the streets of Blantyre or Limbe market without some vendor or worst still a group of them saying" chemwali koma ndiye mwatchenatu" sister you look great or they greet you in this rude sarcastic way and you are expected to answer. The moment you ignore their advances, they start calling you names and talking all these negative things about you mostly sexual. These vendors have no clue who you are nor do they remember your face after you are gone. To them you are just a girl clearly powerless. They live on the assumption that women's bodies are for their enjoyment or that girls choice of clothes is about their attention or satisfaction. I believe, some vendors who do this in their uncivilised state still represent a male dominance culture that has been
Socially accepted for way too long. It is characterised by disrespect towards women, intentional verbal and or physical abuse and the need to see a woman miserable. What sickens me is that it has become acceptable and nobody seems to talk about it in a way that would make daily life easier for  women and girls. There are so many irritating things that happen to young girls or women every day in the neighbourhoods, markets and schools that make life more difficult for them that are normalised as boys just being boys.  A while ago, I met a young man in his late twenties, "educated" independent,handsome,eloquent but a misogynist. The moment he started to open his mouth, I wished he had shut it. It was flowing with ego and disrespect. This made me realise how, so many men irrespective of educational background are disrespectful towards women in their words and actions but never realise it probably because they have no idea on how to act better because just like the obnoxious vendors, nobody tells them its wrong.
As a society we need to point out these wrongs in plain  truth. It doesn't matter if you think women enjoy those advances, trust me we don't. I believe mutual respect between men and women is very vital for the success of every family,village and country. Please don't tell women to adapt to these occurrences, its our society that needs to change for the better. Choose to act differently from what you were  taught to believe was acceptable. #SelfloveAfrica

For all my sisters and mothers

As I  travelled from lilongwe to Blantyre a few weeks ago, an old man probably in his fifties started shouting at a little girl, 12 or 13 years old for sitting on his seat. He shouted at her with no shame at all. He went on and on blaming the  girl, calling her names and all. The bus was so full and everyone was scrambling for the few seats. In actual sense it was another man who had taken his seat but instead of confronting him. He decided to insult this poor girl, obviously it was easier for him. In Malawi many girls suffer verbal and physical abuse because most adults believe they have a right to talk to children any way they please. What striked me the most was that, some women sitting close to the scene started defending the  girl. They asked the man to leave the little girl alone. Pleading with him to spare her the embassment. I loved the fact that these women decided  to defend her. The world has abused girls from a young age for way too long with older women believing it was tradition. They watched as their daughters were humiliated by boys and older men, all in the name of culture. Little did they know that practices such as Kuchotsa Fumbi (forced sex after initiation) were meant to satisfy sex hungry men not make their daughters better wives. The world has stood silent to domestic violence saying "zambanja salowelela" (what happens in marriage is nobody's business). The Internet has stood silent as social media has been flooded with misogynistic kind of advise. Telling rape victims its their fault for dressing inappropriately whilst men are not taught self control. Watching those two women defend this young girl got me so excited. It was evidence of a new era  in which older women are tired of being onlookers, tired of staying silent and are moving on to protect and mentor girls. As the weeks have gone by and I have seen a couple of high profile women's events take place in commemoration of the Women's month in Lilongwe. My heart is filled with hope and joy to see us move steadily towards self awareness and sisterhood. The privilege to make acquaintance with an older woman to look up to and a girl to mentor should be every lady's goal in this day and age. Gone are the days when women competed with each other. Strong women are standing up to bring forth a generation of elegant, successful women. The song of inequality among men and women will one day be history if society realises that fighting a war against women is like shooting yourself in the heart for we are the engine that drives the whole system. We are mothers to all the unborn future leaders. In the professional world, we are still experiencing a gap at decision making levels. Women are getting educated  but are mostly lost in the crowd of assistants and lower/middle management levels. Most successful women we know move from one department of government to another, not necessarily being replaced by another woman. It's quite obvious that the same women are moving across from executive director in one organisation to managing director in another. We cannot be satisfied with this trend, we cannot sit and assume that we are getting more women into power while we are not getting new faces. We have more young women  getting into university but professionally we need to do more to create more leaders/ managers. Let us work on every level to make sure that women are progressing at every level from girls to educated independent young women and moving on to Senior managers and national leaders in their field of work even beyond. I believe  womanhood is the most beautiful gift I have ever received and I will not let anyone treat me or my sisters all around the world any less because of it. I am every woman

The fragility of a smile

I love my niece, she is the first new born baby I ever held in my arms. I watched her grow for at least the first two weeks of her life, and then went back to boarding school. She grew up so fast that by the time I came back three months later; I remember asking my sister “is this the little baby?". Of course she laughed at me. I was 14 years old then probably not quite familiar with child development. One thing remains; I'm always mesmerized by how quickly babies grow. For me that’s one typical example of rapid change. Well, life has a tendency of bringing changes in alternation. Just imagine how quickly a clear blue sky turns into grey or how quickly love turns into hate, and how swiftly a heartwarming smile of a child turns into crying. So fragile are we that every beautiful moment feels like calm before the storm. As you enjoy the bliss of a new pleasure, you realize something ugly is bound to happen sooner or later. "Life is full of ups and downs" the saying goes. As I meditate upon the fragility of my happiness, how things have taken a wrong turn without warning in the past. How as soon as I thought everything was adding up, the confusion stepped in again. I begin to embrace the depth of my emptiness and the bitter truth that I'm forever filled simply to be emptied again. Honestly, as far as life goes, we must come to terms with the fact that we will never fully arrive for we are all continuously trying to figure things out. When the     moment of abundance comes, enjoy the things/people that make you happy without reservation. You never know how long you have. When all the streams dry up and it starts to feel like a desert, hold on to the memories and let them remind you that you are worth of all the good things that you once experienced and even more. Prepare your heart for the walk in the desert. In your season of abundance, fill your soul with God's truth about your life, take pictures, create a memory box and save money or invest you will thank yourself later. If you are to survive you need both psychological and physical nourishment which is a product of your preparation. When seasons change abruptly like they always do, you will have enough armor to go through each passing day with hope. There is no better remedy to prepare yourself for loss, It will always be painful, but a heart filled with hope can help you get back on your feet again sooner. Seasons will come and go, that's a necessity for growth. If you are passing through the dessert, have hope it shall come to pass.

Everyone deserves a Father

As I look back upon my life I imagine what it would be like to have my biological father still alive. For so many years I tried to remember just one moment with him even if it was just a glimpse of his face but to no avail. He passed on when I was three years old, so I guess that explains why I can't remember anything. I know a lot of people with a similar story. They forever imagine what it would be like to have a father. Unfortunately, we can never turn back the clock of time, so we must move forward. We are all consoled with the fact that we have a heavenly father in whom we place our trust in. God deliberately reviled himself as our father to show us how significant that relationship is. By allowing someone on earth to be our earthly father, he has created an opportunity for that individual to be all that he is in earthly form to the ones who call him father. God has made himself the greatest example of what fatherhood really requires. Our society has conditioned us to believe that being fatherless implies having no living father. Sadly, most families suffer the absence of a father not because he is dead or lives away from the family but he is simply not interested in the affairs of the home and the children's upbringing. With the increasing demand for financial stability in a country where most families lack even the most basic needs, men have shifted their focus to making ends meet to the point that there is little or no time left to develop a meaningful relationship with their children. For instance, a child is sent to the most expensive school in town but the father has never seen his son's school work, even once. I believe fatherhood is beyond being a provider. It is about showing our boys what it means to be a man and treating our little girls as the princesses that they are. It's about commitment and love towards the mother of your children, respect for family time and creation of beautiful childhood memories. Every child deserves beautiful childhood memories with their father. My dear friend once told me that the best gift a parent would ever give to their children is to watch them love their spouse. With fathers who refuse to come home early for family time and have numerous excuses on why they can't be there for their child, we are giving birth to a generation whose boys have no idea what being a father truly looks like let alone what being a man is all about. Our girls have never been privileged to be pampered and called beautiful by their father and have no basis to know what they are truly worth and will continuously settle for less than what they deserve. Growing up I had the privilege of having an earthly father, my uncle who made me feel like his own daughter, encouraged me, disciplined me, provided for me and made me feel special. He was a very kind and generous man; he took care of a lot of other people's children. It takes a strong man to take care of his children but it takes a stronger man to take care of another man's child, like his own no matter the circumstances the child lands into his life.

Beyond graduation day

A week ago I was privileged to be featured in a new television programme, called young achievers. I have had my own successes in life and even though I know I haven't reached my highest potential, I feel privileged to have been given an opportunity to share my experiences so far in hope to motivate and encourage other young people. Being a young, independent career women, is such a blessing. I'm so glad to know that I'm able to make a difference in my community and my country. I enjoy having my own home, taking care of those I love and making significant change in my line of work. To be a young achiever is a beautiful experience. I had just turned 23 when I got my first permanent job. So far, experience has taught me a Couple of truths about career achievement that nobody warns you about , I must firstly warn You that everyone has a unique experience .Trust me, the beginning of a fruitful career is not only about having the highest qualifications in the interview room but grace. God's purpose for your life will always prevail. If you think success is about your degree, you will be disappointed. When you are coming from university always know that your degree will take you to places but only wisdom will keep you on the right path .You need to work twice as much to keep a job than an older person performing the same duties.  You are young and people don't trust your capabilities yet. The most likely scenario is that you will change jobs after at least a year. At the beginning of your career, it is mostly about finding a job, any job until you realize you want more than just a pay check. It is very important to reflect on what path you would like to follow, most of our degrees are general, find a specific area that strikes your interest and is the best fit for your personality. Take time to listen to the experienced older colleagues, they have a lot of wisdom to offer, they might be less educated but experience is the best teacher, make friends with them. I personally have experienced stereotypes that I never got the chance to voice out. I'm tired of seeing young professionals being regarded as immature because they are not married yet nor have no children of their own. People are hesitant to give you responsibility outside the home. Some even get passed over a promotion at work simply because people doubt the maturity of single adults. I met a guy earlier on this year, who told me that people doubted his ability to lead the organization as the deputy director just because he was single. This particular stereotype is worse if you work for a religious organization. Honestly, the road doesn't get easier after you graduate; you are more responsible for your actions now than ever before. 

Self- love

Over the years I have learnt to enjoy my own company. I go to places I love, order my favorite meal, drink lemonade and enjoy the background music. I love great company but I can be alone too and have fun. You see, love is a beautiful thing but it can never really be complete if you have not embraced who you are. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Self-love is not equal to selfishness. One must learn what makes them happy before they expect someone else to bring happiness into their life. Most relationships fail because we are forever waiting to be complete through them. The only person that was designed to complete you is Christ, so find him first. Your partner is meant to complement you. You need to fall hopelessly in love with yourself before you let anyone define what love is for you. Work hard to provide for your needs because it is only through your ability to take care of yourself that taking care of others overflows. The reason I love myself is not because I'm selfish but I have learnt the hard way that putting your happiness in the custody of another human being is not a good idea. Calm my heart Lord, for it is deceitful and is always getting me in trouble, my daily prayer. The heart never chooses who to love so guard my heart that it does not land in the wrong place. Well love might or might not exist where you think it absolutely should be. It is also important to note that your love for anyone might not necessarily mean you must stay with them. There is nothing wrong with loving someone but turning anyone into an idol is not acceptable to God. We believe love is worth fighting for so we stay in the company of those who hurt us. Well if love for another is love for ourselves overflowing then being alone is better than being with the wrong company. Always remember you cannot make anyone love you and neither do you need a miracle to make love work for it is natural energy. Unfortunately when we love someone we automatically switch to thinking we cannot live without them. Mostly we have reduced love to a mare product of our imagination and society expectation. We mostly see what we have been fed by society as the ideal love story. "And they lived happily ever after ". So we stick to the miserable thereafter as long as it is an ever after. The ideal love story of acceptance, forgiveness is more beautiful if you are not in love alone. So I say if he/she doesn't love you back, run!!! True love comes when it wants to. Maybe love is not meant for the selfish, faint hearted; maybe the foolishness of love is quite often in the one experiencing it. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with being alone but there is everything wrong with being lonely.

Time will tell

Never get a pet if you know you don't have the time and resources to take care of it, my mother told me. The basic principle in life is to understand one's capabilities and limitations at a specific moment /season in one's life. Take note money and time both apply. It is rather strange that man is constantly placing himself in situations which would have been avoided just by simply applying this basic principle. I am not saying you shouldn't be ambitious or have dreams but rather face reality with an awakened mind. Never walk while you are still stuck in your slumber, you will hit a wall. Always take calculated risk. If you keep accumulating debt (loans you aren't able to pay) just know you are living beyond your capacity. Notice I have said debt, smart people get loans to invest, and average people get loans to travel or host a party without a plan on how they will return the money. Don't buy a car if you won't be able to maintain it. Young men, don't ask a woman to marry you if you can't manage your responsibility or do not have a proper direction for your life. Never rush into a new relationship if you are not over your ex or haven't reaffirmed your self -worth. You will never be whole if you don't give yourself time to heal, time to grow, time to learn. Remember life is a process, so take as much time as you need to become a better you.  Laws of nature, constantly remind us of stages we must go through, a toddler crawls before it can walk. Why are we in a hurry to live a lifestyle we aren’t ready for? Trust me, I know the struggle. The pressure you get from your pride, family and friends to portray a certain status or class that you are not ready for. Remember nobody forces the caterpillar to turn into a butterfly. It is only the butterfly that recognizes when time is due.

Tale of an incredible woman

The past few days have been amazing, sweet memorable moments. However, as I begin to write a recount of my most recent endeavor, my heart is filled with joy and my eyes with tears. As I travel back on this road at least 4hours away from my home, I’m taken aback by how much these days have flown by. I embarked on a journey to see my two mums, yes you heard me right, my two mums. I am so blessed to have two incredible women, call me their very own daughter. One is my biological mother and the other raised me from the age of two. They are both my mothers. For many Years I tried to answer the question who is your real mother both from others and within me. It was a dark time of self- discovery and mostly denial for the complexity of this situation. I for a long time tried to create an equal relationship with both. I must say that proved impossible as you might have already guessed. Now that I'm 26 and ready to have my own kids, I have made peace with myself. I know everyone has their own opinions on who is deserving of being called my mother. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never have an equal relationship with both. I have made peace with loving these women with all the love I have inside me. I have discovered that it is a beautiful blessing to have two mothers and especially to have both alive at this age is a humbling gift. So this weekend was spent with my dear mother (the one who raised me). She is a true example of what true sacrifice and faith in God looks like. She has taught me about love, sacrifice, commitment and faith like no other I have seen. My mother had a stroke 9 years ago that has left her on a wheelchair for all these years. It has been hard for me to keep my eyes on Jesus when I have prayed every night for her healing and the heavens stayed deeply silent. I always asked God why he would let her suffer like this after all she has done for him. But surprisingly God has blessed her with So much more than people who think are better off than her will ever comprehend, Joy. Every time, I spend some time with her I’m never the same. She is genuinely interested in what's going on in my life, always asking me about work. She always says "Ndikuthokoza mulungu akundisunga "I thank God for keeping me". She has never complained or shown any resentment. God has given her deep peace and joy like no other. When I spend time with her, I remind her of the happy stories that happened during my childhood. Memories of my childhood Would never be the same without her in the picture.  I thank God for her. She gives me strength to carry on. She is my No1 fun and I will always be her little baby.

Deepest desire-26 today

Over the past three years, I have worked 4 different jobs, lived in 4 different cities, visited 3 countries and went through other numerous life changes. In my life I have changed cities and schools every two years with an exception of college. I consequently have lost friends, started over too many times than I can remember. Some changes were truly out of choice but mostly circumstances changed in a blink of an eye and there was no escape but to deal with the change. My life has been full of uncertainty to the point that I wonder if anything is ever here to stay. Hence my deepest desire is for the uncertainty to settle. I yearn for the day when I will be sure of where I will spend my next birthday, my next Christmas at. In this moment of unknowing, I surrender my heart to the Lord. I need calmness in this never ending storm. All I need is just three sold years where I can have a reverse of the above maybe except visiting places for fun and not moving out of my home. I have learnt to say goodbye, I want to learn to hold on. To stay, to feel, to experience, to belong.......