Self- love

Over the years I have learnt to enjoy my own company. I go to places I love, order my favorite meal, drink lemonade and enjoy the background music. I love great company but I can be alone too and have fun. You see, love is a beautiful thing but it can never really be complete if you have not embraced who you are. Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Self-love is not equal to selfishness. One must learn what makes them happy before they expect someone else to bring happiness into their life. Most relationships fail because we are forever waiting to be complete through them. The only person that was designed to complete you is Christ, so find him first. Your partner is meant to complement you. You need to fall hopelessly in love with yourself before you let anyone define what love is for you. Work hard to provide for your needs because it is only through your ability to take care of yourself that taking care of others overflows. The reason I love myself is not because I'm selfish but I have learnt the hard way that putting your happiness in the custody of another human being is not a good idea. Calm my heart Lord, for it is deceitful and is always getting me in trouble, my daily prayer. The heart never chooses who to love so guard my heart that it does not land in the wrong place. Well love might or might not exist where you think it absolutely should be. It is also important to note that your love for anyone might not necessarily mean you must stay with them. There is nothing wrong with loving someone but turning anyone into an idol is not acceptable to God. We believe love is worth fighting for so we stay in the company of those who hurt us. Well if love for another is love for ourselves overflowing then being alone is better than being with the wrong company. Always remember you cannot make anyone love you and neither do you need a miracle to make love work for it is natural energy. Unfortunately when we love someone we automatically switch to thinking we cannot live without them. Mostly we have reduced love to a mare product of our imagination and society expectation. We mostly see what we have been fed by society as the ideal love story. "And they lived happily ever after ". So we stick to the miserable thereafter as long as it is an ever after. The ideal love story of acceptance, forgiveness is more beautiful if you are not in love alone. So I say if he/she doesn't love you back, run!!! True love comes when it wants to. Maybe love is not meant for the selfish, faint hearted; maybe the foolishness of love is quite often in the one experiencing it. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with being alone but there is everything wrong with being lonely.

Time will tell

Never get a pet if you know you don't have the time and resources to take care of it, my mother told me. The basic principle in life is to understand one's capabilities and limitations at a specific moment /season in one's life. Take note money and time both apply. It is rather strange that man is constantly placing himself in situations which would have been avoided just by simply applying this basic principle. I am not saying you shouldn't be ambitious or have dreams but rather face reality with an awakened mind. Never walk while you are still stuck in your slumber, you will hit a wall. Always take calculated risk. If you keep accumulating debt (loans you aren't able to pay) just know you are living beyond your capacity. Notice I have said debt, smart people get loans to invest, and average people get loans to travel or host a party without a plan on how they will return the money. Don't buy a car if you won't be able to maintain it. Young men, don't ask a woman to marry you if you can't manage your responsibility or do not have a proper direction for your life. Never rush into a new relationship if you are not over your ex or haven't reaffirmed your self -worth. You will never be whole if you don't give yourself time to heal, time to grow, time to learn. Remember life is a process, so take as much time as you need to become a better you.  Laws of nature, constantly remind us of stages we must go through, a toddler crawls before it can walk. Why are we in a hurry to live a lifestyle we aren’t ready for? Trust me, I know the struggle. The pressure you get from your pride, family and friends to portray a certain status or class that you are not ready for. Remember nobody forces the caterpillar to turn into a butterfly. It is only the butterfly that recognizes when time is due.

Tale of an incredible woman

The past few days have been amazing, sweet memorable moments. However, as I begin to write a recount of my most recent endeavor, my heart is filled with joy and my eyes with tears. As I travel back on this road at least 4hours away from my home, I’m taken aback by how much these days have flown by. I embarked on a journey to see my two mums, yes you heard me right, my two mums. I am so blessed to have two incredible women, call me their very own daughter. One is my biological mother and the other raised me from the age of two. They are both my mothers. For many Years I tried to answer the question who is your real mother both from others and within me. It was a dark time of self- discovery and mostly denial for the complexity of this situation. I for a long time tried to create an equal relationship with both. I must say that proved impossible as you might have already guessed. Now that I'm 26 and ready to have my own kids, I have made peace with myself. I know everyone has their own opinions on who is deserving of being called my mother. I have come to terms with the fact that I will never have an equal relationship with both. I have made peace with loving these women with all the love I have inside me. I have discovered that it is a beautiful blessing to have two mothers and especially to have both alive at this age is a humbling gift. So this weekend was spent with my dear mother (the one who raised me). She is a true example of what true sacrifice and faith in God looks like. She has taught me about love, sacrifice, commitment and faith like no other I have seen. My mother had a stroke 9 years ago that has left her on a wheelchair for all these years. It has been hard for me to keep my eyes on Jesus when I have prayed every night for her healing and the heavens stayed deeply silent. I always asked God why he would let her suffer like this after all she has done for him. But surprisingly God has blessed her with So much more than people who think are better off than her will ever comprehend, Joy. Every time, I spend some time with her I’m never the same. She is genuinely interested in what's going on in my life, always asking me about work. She always says "Ndikuthokoza mulungu akundisunga "I thank God for keeping me". She has never complained or shown any resentment. God has given her deep peace and joy like no other. When I spend time with her, I remind her of the happy stories that happened during my childhood. Memories of my childhood Would never be the same without her in the picture.  I thank God for her. She gives me strength to carry on. She is my No1 fun and I will always be her little baby.